Nurses & Their Support Staff (Heros)

 

When I was a child, I thought I knew what hero(s) were, cartoon superhero's.  When you grow up and find out there are no superhero's in real life, though sometimes real life surprises you.  I was hospitalized a few years ago and I can attest that the only hero(s) I've ever met in real life are nurses and their support staff who change you, bath you and generally tend to your needs.  

Nurses had the biggest healing effect on me that I was given, more than the meds, the surgeries or the doctors.  They were my therapists, muses, inspirations, confidant, healers and friends.  I'm not sure they ever realize how critical they are to the patients they treat, I hope they do!  Especially with COVID-19, we have pushed them to the edge of their sanity and endurance.  I watch their tired, strained faces as they plead on TV for more resources and relief.  We owe it to them to help ourselves by wearing masks and getting vaccinated for COVID, we owe it to us all.

Nurses are risking their and their family's lives by going to work and treating us all.  The mental toll that this disease has taken on them might not be understood for years.  They are the unsung hero(s) of our healthcare system.  I'm not sure why anyone would want to go into nursing.  It's almost a thankless job.  Now I think, why didn't I thank them more?  It's mostly because when you are released, you just don't see a lot of the shift nurses that have been working on you and that's sad.  There should really be some kind of email list where you could send them thanks when you get home and are recuperating. 

I don't really know how to find or thank the nurses that saved my life, but if I meet a nurse now, I realize how important it is to thank them for all they do, for their patients who missed out on the opportunity like I did.  We wish you health (of mind and body), happiness (of family and soul) and may the love and caring you put out come back to you many fold.  Forever my hero.  >Insensitive Bastard 💓      

         

Excerpts

As Insensitive Bastard travels through the maze of surgeries at Scalpel Depot, he meets Dr. Grizzly, Dr. Egotism, Dr. Cutlery, Nurse Angelica and Nurse Smilesalot to name a few.  Below are some excerpts that capture the spirit of the book.

I  was  halfway  done eating  when  the  surgeon  walked in and roared, “You can’t  eat  this  morning.  You  are  being  operated on!” So,  I  looked  him  in  the  eye  and  stated,  “No,  I’m  not  being operated on this morning. Surgery is canceled!” He said, “By who,” and I said, “By me.” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see one of the nurses crack a sly smile. Livid, he left the room.

My  first  day  of  hyperbaric  treatment  started  with  the  following sentence. “Once pressurized, we will be unable to  extract  you until  at least  five  minutes  after  you  let  us  know  you are  in  trouble.”  Trouble…trouble  is  when  you’re  a  kid  and  you are  late  getting  home  by  five  minutes.  There  is  no  equivalent in this situation, so if you’re going to have a heart attack or a stroke in that chamber, you’d better tell the “technician” ahead of time.

It was also  a time, the nurses knew, when we missed the ones we loved the most.  They would come in to check something and make small  talk  or  some  type  of  a  connection  that  took  us  away  from our anxiety-filled thoughts, if only for a while.

There  were  the  constant  staccato  beats  of  the  medical carts  being  wheeled  up  and  down  the  hall  that  sound  like  a drum  baseline.  The  never-ending  nursing  request  bells  that performed like the chimes sprinkled into a classical piece to add  signature  and  effect.  The  mechanical  beeps  from  the  heart and pulse monitors provided structure to the string section. And  the  drone  of  my  own  breathing  added  a  rhythm  flute  to the symphony, all captivating my mind.

Even with very few people in a large college restaurant, the fact I looked like I must have escaped the hospital got me strange looks  from most  of them. I  did get back  on  time, and I can  only  think  of  a  nurse  that  we  will  call  Nurse  Angelica.  She facilitated this event and for that, I will always be grateful. There may have been one or two other minor infractions during my time at Scalpel Depot, but I hesitate to include them so as not to identify Mr. Bastard.

HANDI-CRAPPED (The Birth Of A Book)

 I am both excited and proud to announce that HANDI-CRAPPED (fiction based upon a true story), my first book, can be purchased August 25th, 2021.  You can pre-order now:

I hope you find this book to be a funny and thought provoking tale of a man and the decisions he must make while in the hospital.  He is lucky to have a great support system of family, friends and the nursing staff (he calls hero's), he's just not so sure about the doctors and hospital administrators, you decide.    

The Good, The Bad And The...Strange (Doctor Selection)

I believe that selecting a doctor is kind of like a hit or miss thing.  You pick one based upon the best information you have, then you are kind of stuck with him or her right?  I mean after all, there is no way that you are going to fill out that much paperwork again for another doctor anytime soon right?  So let’s kind of go through selecting one and ensuring that they are right for you. 

For me, I’d like to have a doctor that is a chain smoking, overweight, near-sighted and shy diabetic.  That way he/she wouldn’t be able to destroy me if my A1C was over 5.6%.  I’ve had a few general practitioners that I kept because they didn’t berate me for my exceptional intake of calories due to insufficient willpower and restraint.  Now those appeared to be good working relationships, probably to the detriment of my health.  Selecting a specialist or surgeon is something completely different. 

I don’t know how doctors select their own specialties, but the one that fascinates me most is a proctologist, and even if the money is really really good…Also, if there is an ear, nose and throat doctor, why isn’t there a shoulder, elbow and wrist doctor, just sayin’.  If that logic is maintained, shouldn’t there be an anus, penu…never mind.  Anyway, how do we know they’re any good, we don’t.  Only through time and experience with that doctor can we actually determine their ability and competence.  I do suggest though, that if you don’t feel comfortable after the first meeting, you should consider finding another before you are too deep in the process. 

Surgeons are more difficult to predict.  It’s not like you can go up to a surgeon and ask what their batting average is?  “Uh, excuse me doctor, what is your average survival rate?”  Look, even the best hall of famers only get on base three or four in ten times.  I’m looking for my surgeon to say, “One of them left my office once and was immediately hit by a bus, but other than that, I’m perfect!  Good luck getting those stats.  You can also attempt to glean information by presence and attitude but the best surgeon I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a few, had the personality of a mortician, but the skills of Michael Jordon. 

So how do we select our doctors?  I suggest to you, research, research and more research.  We typically spend more time looking for used cars than we do selecting the people that will ultimately have our lives in their hands.  Use every reference you can find.  Sites like Zocdoc provide ratings on doctors based upon patient reviews, their insurance plans and locations.  Do an internet search for their name, licenses and lawsuits.  Many of the better doctors you may have a hard time getting an appointment with due to availability or they may no longer be accepting new patients. 

Ultimately though, you are the head of your own medical team, if you are unhappy with one of your providers, replace them.  Also, ASK QUESTIONS.  Part of your responsibility it to ensure that you are completely aware of all of your choices.  In order to make the correct choices, you must be aware of all of the associated data.  Informed decisions are the best decisions.  Make yours count.

Handi-Crapped is based upon a true story.  Insensitive Bastard is a man who questions his medical treatment, but does he question it enough, you decide.  Be well!

Your ADA Rights Under Title III (References)

 

Today, I (Insensitive Bastard), will help you locate where the private industry ADA regulations and requirements are.  The Americans with Disabilities Act Title III can be found @ (https://www.ada.gov/taman3.html).  It is important to people with disabilities to understand exactly what our rights are with regard to places we frequent and visit. 

 It is worth noting that ADA requirements fall within two basic categories:

                Public places-that are state and local governmental entities

                Public & Private places-that are commercial entities

Private or commercial places and facilities encompass the majority of areas we visit on a daily basis.  Rather than provide you with information that I am no expert on, the spaces below are great references for information you may need or reference. 

You would/will be surprised at how many facilities are non-compliant with ADA laws.  Only since my disability have I become keenly aware of situations that do no comply.   

Some examples of public accommodations and commercial facilities are hotels, restaurants, theaters, halls, grocery stores, shopping centers, banks, schools, gyms and hospitals.

I encourage you to visit the noted link above, (ada.gov), (https://www.ada.gov/infoline.htm), or call 1-800-514-0301 (voice) or 1-800-514-0383 (TTY) for further information. 

Some specific requirements of Title III are listed below:

·     4.3400 Telecommunication devices for the deaf (TDD's). In order to ensure effective communication by telephone, a public accommodation is required to provide TDD's in certain circumstances. Because TDD relay systems required by title IV of the ADA (which must be operational by July 26, 1993) will eliminate many telephone system barriers to TDD users, the auxiliary aids requirements relating to TDD's are limited in nature.

·         4.4200 Readily achievable barrier removal. Public accommodations are required to remove barriers only when it is "readily achievable" to do so. "Readily achievable" means easily accomplishable and able to be carried out without much difficulty or expense.

·     4.6000 Examinations and courses. Any private entity that offers examinations or courses related to applications, licensing, certification, or credentialing for secondary or postsecondary education, professional, or trade purposes must offer such examinations or courses in a place and manner accessible to persons with disabilities, or offer alternative accessible arrangements for such individuals.

·       5.4000 Elevator exemption. Elevators are the most common way to provide access in multistory buildings. Title III of the ADA, however, contains an exception to the general rule requiring elevators. Elevators are not required in facilities under three stories or with fewer than 3000 square feet per floor, unless the building is a shopping center or mall; professional office of a health care provider; public transit station; or airport passenger terminal.

·       7.3110 Work areas (ADAAG §4.1.1(3)). Access to work areas, but not to individual work stations, is required. The requirement for work areas is that they be designed so that individuals with disabilities can approach, enter, and exit the areas.

·     7.4300 Parking (ADAAG §4.1.2(5)(b)). ADAAG provides a table with the number of accessible parking spaces required dependent on the size of the lot. For example, only four percent of the spaces in a 100-space lot must be accessible. Certain facilities, however, are subject to higher requirements.

·        7.5125 Doors (ADAAG §4.1.3(7)). The following doors must be accessible:

                    1) At least one at each accessible entrance and at each accessible space;

                   2) Each door that is part of an accessible route; and

                   3) Each door that is required for egress.

Welcome to Handi-Crapped

My name is Insensitive Bastard, but don’t be fooled by the name, I actually am sensitive and Handi-Crapped.  In my book Handi-Crapped (fiction based upon a true story), I chronicle a journey through our healthcare system with it’s elusive search for a cure for an infection.  Within this narrative I try to encourage readers to question the authoritarian medical establishment.  After all, the best medical advocate that we have is ourselves. 

In this mind-numbing expedition through the medical bureaucracy and surgical profiteers, our protagonist questions the number and criticality of the procedures being performed on him.  He actually fires a surgeon from his team and then begins an exploration for the ultimate medical team.  The reader will be left to decide whether he found one or not. 

As he finally settles on a team, he wonders if he is putting too much trust in the surgeons that are actually in control of his life and potential death.  Is he, them or anyone doing the most effective treatment for a cure?  Do administrative or financial rewards enter into it?  Were 19 surgeries required to keep him alive or could he have done better without some of them?  He wonders if we are even given enough information to assist with the direction of our own treatment.

Mr. Bastard travels through a space and time where he is offered several solutions to his infection where most of them require surgeries.  As the surgeries pile up, he notes that the treatments themselves begin to take a toll.  In a blistering pace where he is operated on three times in one week, he can’t even remember the time between two of them.  Once in a fit of rebellion, he even fights back against the anesthesia so hard it takes hours of recovery just to come to (don’t do this at home). 

In hospitals, prior-to and during our initial consultations, we are categorized by our insurance company, our policy and designation.  Make no mistake, you simply become an algorithm to the administrators that will be providing your care.  According to Physicians News Digest, HOW DOES A HOSPITAL MAKE MONEY, it states “Surgical patients are better them medical patients. In general, hospitals make more money from your patients who will undergo surgery. The procedures are usually reimbursed at a higher rate then a typical medical patient who only generates a daily room rate for their care.”  Lets forget the grammar/spelling mistakes within their quotes, let try to focus on the fact that they are saying this out loud. 

Once a patient understands these implications, they possess all of the parts of the equation they need to assess and consult for their own treatment.  Doctors are not Gods in lab coats, they are just like you and me.  Their education does not necessarily determine their morals or responsibility to provide the most effective treatment.  While I believe most doctors are great, ego does transform some of them into a depository vessel of greed and potentially is willing to experiment his/her surgical talents (or lack thereof) on the only body you were given by God to spend this life in and that is a shame!

Nurses though, seem to have followed some kind of calling to their career/job/placement/angel on earth designations.  They are really the healers of the hospital.  They are underpaid, underappreciated and in general treated badly by doctors and administrative staff.  I really don’t see why they don’t tell everyone to just “F… Off” and get into another profession.  Except that they are not like most of us because they know how much they mean to us.  Nurses are there for us because they know we need them to get better…and we do.  I know that I never thanked the nurses enough and for that I am truly sorry.  If you are a nurse, please know how much your smiles, jokes or talks help us in probably the worst times in our lives.  We will never forget your faces even if we can’t remember your names, but your kindness and caring is etched in our minds forever. 

Ultimately, the pursuit of a cure is dotted with stories of his family’s struggles, of nurses who are captured as the hero’s that they are and the rest of a system and people that fall somewhere between sinners and saints.  We hope you enjoy the book and welcome any comments or stories about your own journey through our medical jungle.  I wish you health, happiness and courage!

                                                                                                            >Insensitive Bastard