Please buy HANDI-CRAPPED, you’ll be giving to Insensitive Bastard so that he can continue his assault on healthcare systems everywhere…and his own dusty wallet.
Hey there 2022! I’m
pleased to meet you but you’re still in your infancy, so I’ll reserve my
opinion of you until at least the end of June.
Your siblings (2021 & 2020) did not treat us so good since I’m optimistic
though, I have a few requests for you:
1.
This entire COVID thing, can we just put an end
to all of the variants…PLEASE? The Right
has decided that drinking your own urine might be a cure, and as proud as I am
of their recycling techniques, I’d just assume not get into an elevator where
someone has “urine breath”. I can only
assume that their next cure might involve “stool intake” and I’m afraid that might
just put another take on you are what you eat.
2.
Please tell ALL OF THE POLITICIANS TO PLEASE
SHUT THE HELL UP! I’m so tired of seeing
them tweet, “We need to give people voting rights and ensure that everyone’s
vote counts”. I agree, but there’s not
one damn thing I can do about it since my only input doesn’t come until November
8th, and trust me, when I do vote, some incumbents are not going to
be happy.
3.
Please help pass the $35 insulin bill. It is a terrible thing in this country when
some of us have to pick between food and an $800 prescription. I’ve been a diabetic now for 22 years. There’s a good chance that I’ve paid over $100,000
for insulin during that time. If you add
in the needles, the test strips and meters you’re probably at 120k. Did you know that Pfizer made 3.5 BILLION
dollars in just the first three months of 2021?
Give me a break!
4.
Billionaires are spending their discretionary
income to travel to space, well it’s not actually space, it’s so they can spend
about two minutes in a weightless atmosphere.
The cost of this is so astronomical, Elon Musk had to reduce his
spending by cutting the amount he pays in taxes.
5.
Please, if any boat/ship/yacht has to get
a hole and sink, let it be Slow Manchin’s.
I’m not saying I want anyone’s yacht to sink, but if there has to be
one…
6.
Sucker Karlson/s worth and paycheck is just
ridiculous. I understand that he married
Swanson Food but to lie for like 20 million a year. Well, I’ve known at least 20 tax attorneys that
would lie like that for ½ as much. Can
you get him fired please?
7.
Finally, and I know this is a big one but, could
you regrow my amputated leg one night? I
kind of miss having one and I’ve already got all these extra shoes…
8.
Sorry, I almost forgot one and this is the
biggest of them all, can you please make sure that everyone votes Blue and beat the republicans in both the house
and the senate in November? I’m afraid
if we don’t win, the COVID cures may not look so bad to me.
Sincerely,
Insensitive
Bastard
Insensitive Bastard
