National Days in December (Nat'l What Day?)

Uh, I'm not sure if you are aware, but in addition to Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years and several other major holidays (see above) fall in the month of December.  You may be unaware, but I'm here to catch you up on some that you may have not celebrated due to the overpowering "holiday season"...You're Welcome.

• Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day (Dec 1st) A Day designated to get eye exams who knew  
• National Sock Day (Dec 4th) I think it's great to have a day dedicated to the only piece of clothing that actually escapes my house on its own
• National Rhubarb Vodka Day (1st Saturday in Dec) This year it actually falls on the same day as National Sock Day, so let's put our party hats on and celebrate like it's 1999
• National Pawnbrokers Day (Dec 6th) Can you imagine the lobbyists proposing this day?
• Dewey Decimal System Day (Dec 10th) I'd like to propose we join this day with National Antiquated Day
• National Ding-a-Ling Day (Dec 12th) Insert your own joke here
• Cat Herders Day (Dec 15th) I understand the concept, but I've never actually seen it performed
• National Roast Suckling Pig Day (Dec 18th) Was this born out of jealousy for Thanksgiving
• National Flashlight Day (Dec 21st) I get that this is the Winter Solstice, but don't we just use our phones now
• National Roots Day (Dec 23rd) A Day to investigate and trace our family heritages great, just in time to sit around the Christmas tree and discuss who is illegitimate in my family 
• National Whiner’s Day (Dec 26th) A Day that allows you to complain about anything wasn't this called everyday
• National Champagne Day (Dec 31st) Now I think this should be National Drink Your Face Off Day, but then who am I to argue with tradition

So Happy December and Be Well

-Insensitive Bastard

https://www.amazon.com/Handi-Crapped-Surviving-Our-Healthcare-System/dp/1737644614/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

    

 

Thankful...Insensitive Bastard is Here

 

Sooo much to be thankful for.  As Insensitive Bastard, it may be hard to believe that I'm very thankful at all, but that's not true.  My entire book Handi-Crapped is dedicated to a man's journey throughout a hospitcal stay.  A work of fiction based upon a true story; you begin to question how much of this is truth.   Probably more than you'd hope.  

You have to give it to the protagonist though, he is bounced, shaken and shot through his journey like an arrow through a bow.  He barely has time or energy to make life changing decisions.  For his family, friends and nurses he is very thankful, for the doctors and hospital administrators...not so much.  

Mr. Bastard's medical team at Scalpel Depot consists of doctor(s) Grizzly and Cutlery.  His nurses are nurse Angelica, Smilesalot, Havyorbac, Sureshot and Understatement.  So, you figure with this team, what could go wrong...wait...what?  

In a world where doctors are Gods in scrubs/lab coats, Mr. Bastard is an outlier.  He fires a surgeon on the morning of surgery, he escapes the hospital for a decent meal and fights anesthesia like a boxer going twelve rounds.  Through it all, he maintains his sense of humor and a relentless observation of the human condition.  

So, as we approach Thanksgiving and remember the many things, we are thankful for, Insensitive Bastard is just thankful to be on the right side of the grass.  He's just glad it's not "Catheter Monday" or "Transfusion Day".  He IS hoping that this Thanksgiving finds you well with much to be thankful for.  Be well!